Abandonment

I see the bitterness in her eyes. So pungent that I can taste it on the tip of my tongue. I don't want to swallow and take it inside myself, but I can't help it; swallowing is in my nature. I feel her hurt burning me all the way down my throat, but I'm sure it is merely secondhand smoke compared to what eats at her gut when she sees me. Her lips can't form the words to express her disappointment, but I feel it in my depths nonetheless. I got caught up in a tropical storm and left too soon without really saying goodbye. And truth be told, I didn't put up much of a fight when the storm came. I did not cover my windows with wood or secure any part of me with chains. For what did I ride on the edge of the wind but to chase what I thought would warm my toes at night? A fun ride, but more costly than what I had first counted. And my toes are still cold, warmed only by the extra blankets on my side of the bed. And after all that we spent, neither of us yet believes in "the one."