Busy

Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. --Titus 2:4-5

I've been having a hard time keeping up with my schedule. I did not post much last week because my days were so full and when I did have some down time, I pretty much crashed on my bed and slept to recover from running around so much. The sad part is that I have such a hard time keeping up with my commitments, that I don't have the energy to be "busy at home". I've mentioned before that I'm not exactly the best housekeeper, and I'm even less likely to keep up with cleaning when I'm tired and busy outside of the home. When I read how the Bible says I should be as a wife and a mother, I start to wonder how I will ever make room for kids in my life if my schedule stays the way it is. John and I cannot afford to live off of one income, and I keep hearing my co-workers talk about how expensive kids are. I know I want kids, but I don't know how I'm going to have the time and engery to actively love them the way they need to be loved while also contributing to the financial well-being of my home. I want to be the kind of wife and mother that God wants me to be so that I can model His love for my family, but I'm so busy that I don't presently see how that will work. I guess God's timing and plan is better than mine. I wanted children before now, but God knows that I'm not ready. When He's ready for me to be a mother, I will have to seek His will for how to become less busy outside the home so I can be busier in the home.