Confessions

I've been overly busy and therefore extremely exhausted lately. The past two weeks at work have been crazy busy and stressful. An end is in sight, though! Once the seniors graduate next Thursday, my life should quiet down a great deal...at least at work. Because I've been so busy and tired, I haven't felt inspired to write much lately, and for that, my two loyal readers, I apologize. Today I decided to do something a bit different. I am going to let you in on my dark side by listing some of vices for all the world to see. Eventually all of our motives and deeds will be brought into the light anyway (1 Corinthians 4:5), so now is as good a time as any to come out of the closet with some of my personal darkness.

1. I am addicted to caffiene. I drink four cups of coffee and 1-2 caffienate beverages a day. And that's after a serious doctor-suggested cut back.
2. I have no patience for some of the people I am supposed to counsel. If they get an attitude with me, I am quick to get one back and resent them for it.
3. I get angry very easily and stay angry very long.
4. I never go a full day without eating chocolate.
5. I tell white lies to protect people's feelings, and I don't think that's wrong.
6. I have shared people's secrets when I thought they made for a good story.
7. I frequently say things to people without first thinking about the consequences of my words.
8. I would rather read a gossip column than a news article.
9. I sometimes say I understand when really I do not.
10. I keep score.

Other not-so-nice facts about me:
1. Really beautfiul women make me feel insecure. I think bad things about them in order to make myself feel better.
2. In college, I used to skip class to go to the gym. I had a deeper desire to look good than I had to become a more interesting person. At the same time I would claim to be enlightened.
3. Even now as an adult, I regularly fantasize about running away. Usually by myself. I've even looked at real estate online.
4. Sometimes the desire to make other people like me dictates my actions. This has been the case for my whole life and has led to some very poor decisions.
5. Ever since puberty, I've been oddly fascinated with death. While some girls doodle flowers and hearts, I've doodled bloody knives on the sides of notebook paper. I have never killed--or even physically hurt--anyone, but I have a dark imagination.

Praise God that in spite of how much darkness I have, He has sent the Light to set me free! Praise God that no matter how hopeless I am, He has given me a new hope (1 Peter 1:3)! Praise God that no matter how set in my dark ways I am, He holds new birth and new life!

Posted by Kim at May 26, 2006 12:44 PM