This morning, I listened to The Verve's Bitter Sweet Symphony on the radio, and I found myself wondering how much the singer believes the words he's crooning, "'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony this life/Trying to make ends meet, you're a slave to the money then you die." Is this hopeless and helpless outlook all that he sees ahead? I can't imagine waking up in the morning and looking at the steep climb in front of me for the day with nothing more to hold onto than the grim picture he paints in these verses.
On the other hand, I think about the book I just finished last night and how everything wrapped up so neatly at the end. I left that book almost entirely unmoved because of the ridiculousness of such neat little endings to all the subplots that in reality would not have cute bows tied around them. Books and movies that end with everything working out so sweetly irritate me, because I know in my life there is no happy ending in sight until the end of my physical walk. If a slice of my life was woven into a story, it would end as messy as it began with broken pieces that can be swept away but not restored. Hurts that never fully heal and wounds that will be forgiven but not forgotten.
Because I have hope and small moments of joy that I cling to like a rock climber to a foothold, my life is not a bittersweet symphony. But neither is my life a series of happy endings like a cheap novel or a feel-good romantic comedy. My life is a series of loss and gain and then some more loss. It's a series of changes that often hurt, but that I hope are taking me further towards my eternal destination. If the climb depended only on me, I would lose hope. And, unlike The Verve, I probably wouldn't sing about the bittersweet symphony, because I'd probably be too depressed to force my vocal chords to move together in harmony.
Instead of mourning in the midst of the sorrow of life, I cling to the words of the Psalmist, "Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge" (Psalm 62:5-7). No matter how impossible the climb ahead looks, I can rest in the knowledge that God is shouting "Belay on!" to remind me that He is my anchor and He won't let me plummet to the hard ground below. The journey is not easy, but with security of knowing that God is protecting me during the climb, I can push on ahead with hope and peace. His plan is not for a challenge-free climb; it is for refinement through challenge so that we are fully ready for what lies on the other side.
Posted by Kim at May 30, 2006 08:43 AM