Some behaviors we engage in because they are our habits; others we engage in because they are part of who we are. As I have said before, I unquestionably have an addictive personality, which is why I count my blessings that I have avoided any kind of addictive involvement with drugs or alcohol. Still, there are some things I do because of my addictive tendencies. As I live with myself longer, I'm learning to recognize the difference between an addiction and a defining behavior. The difference is not just that one is bad and the other is good. These qualifiers could apply to behavior in both the addictive and the defning categories. The difference between the two is far more subtle than good or bad. Obviously, one difference is that defining behaviors are even harder than addictions to change. I can go to therapy to get over an addiction because my addiction is not the essence of who I am. But defining behaviors seem to live within my very marrow. Addictions are crutches I learn to lean on over time as a way to cope with life. Defining behaviors are an inherent part of my life. I may feel compelled to engage in addictive behavior, but I feel truly lost when I don't engage in my defining behaviors.
In Proverbs, we are instructed to write love and faithfulness on our hearts (Proverbs 3:3). Our hearts are permanent tablets, so when we write the behaviors of love and faithfulness upon our hearts, these behaviors should become part of us. I vividly remember an experience I had in college during an extremely low point when I was actually in therapy to get over a negative addiction that I had been engaging in for 8 years at that point. As I walked across campus to the health center to see my counselor, I remembered thinking how much easier life would be if I was not a Christian. Before I even completed this thought, I felt an overwhelming awareness that I could not simply choose to no longer be a Christian. My faith in Christ is an essential part of who I am. Even though I could hope for recovery from my eating disorder, which was simply an addiction and not a defining behavior, I realized that day that I could not even begin to define myself apart from my faith. Similarly, I've come to understand that there are other behaviors that are part of my composition--behaviors I had previously considered disposable but that I am now learning can't simply be cut out or overcome the way an addiction can. I'm learning to embrace these behaviors as part of what makes me who I am.
Of course, God can change us at our cores even if therapy and 12-step programs can do nothing to chip away at our defining behaviors no matter how successful they are at breaking us of our addicitons. In the process of sanctification, God will refine the beahviors that define us so that they are used for His glory rather than ours. He will transform us and what has previously defined us may change, particularly if our defining behaviors are not honoring to Him or His word. The transforming power of His love working in us is the only element strong enough to alter our core being.
Posted by Kim at March 28, 2007 07:30 PM