Was it last year or the year before that Kanye West announced that he should have won every grammy he was up for because he was that good?
Well, apparently this year he thinks he should actually be in the Bible.
What a fascinating amount of arrogrance! Unfortunately for Kanye, I don't think that the Bible, a modern version or the ancient original, would ever use words that can't be played on radio. There's actually some stuff in the Good Book about not using coarse language, so putting Kanye's lyrics in there would be a bit of a contradiction.
Since it should be clear to most people that Kanye is not going to appear in the Bible unless it is as an example of what not to do, the next question for the press will be to decide if his statement is better or worse than the infamous Beatles line that they are "bigger than Jesus."
According to a recent survey, Americans are more accepting of overweight than they were 20 years ago. The trend of steadily increasing fat acceptance seems to correlate quite nicely with the trend of steadily increasing fat bodies in the U.S. I guess some people feel too hypocritical to say they prefer thin people when they themselves are large and in charge. I find this funny because new diet trends are still cropping up at a pretty regular rate. Are we claiming to accept the fat while still secretly trying to starve it way? Or maybe the diets are all for show. Based on this survey, it seems like we're becoming as lazy with our health as we are with everything else. It's much easier to eat a McDonald's burger and fries while you're driving home from work than it is to eat a salad. And it's much easier to make a frozen pizza for dinner when you get home from work late than it is to stand in front of the stove and cook vegetables and chicken breasts. While it may not take a lot of time to make something healthy, it still takes less time to make something unhealthy. And we Americans are all about saving every second because it means we will have more time to sit on the couch and watch sitcom re-runs. And, of course, as far as fitness goes, it will always be easier to sit on the couch than to drive to the gym or even to walk around the block. Laziness is what Americans do best, and that, I believe, is a large part of our fat problem in the first place. I'll even go so far as to say that laziness is more of the problem than the availability of unhealthy food at which everyone is quick to point a finger. Laziness also explains why the more money we spend on diets, the fatter we get. We want a quick fix and there isn't one, and then we get frustrated that even though we're eating nothing but "rabbit food," our hips are still widening. So maybe our fat pride is an indication that we just don't see the point in trying anymore. After all, we're all gonna die someday. We might as well be happy before we go from all the buttercream frosting and pepperoni that we ingest instead of cranky and hungry from all the times we turned those guilty pleasures down.
Here's a good way to ensure you never work with children again: get them drunk. That's the approach that a 37-year old New York man took when he was left alone with a 2- and a 3-year old. Authorities found him passed out and learned that the 2-year old was stumbling around with a .094 blood alcohol level. In New York, a .08 is considered drunk, so this toddler was basically wasted. Even better, the parents of these two youngsters were at the hospital giving birth. Hopefully this will be a lesson to choose their babysitters more carefully. Or to get thicker shades. I find it more than a little creepy that authorities discovered this problem by peeking into the windows of the house. They may have been investigating a court case, but that's still a little bit too big brother-y for my taste. Get a search warrant, please. Then you can feel free to legitimately do breathilizers on toddlers without invading anyone's privacy.
Every so often, the debate about allowing elderly people to have driver's licences makes the national news. On the one hand, some older folks need to have access to cars and drive just fine. On other hand, some folks the same age are high-risk drivers due to their senility. While I understand that we don't want to discriminate against the elderly, there has to be something that we can do to prevent some of the more high-risk cases from being legally permitted on the road. This week in Florida, a 93-year old man hit a pedestrian and then drove three miles with the body still on his windshield. He was caught because he passed through a toll with the body on his car, and this, obviously concerned the toll taker. He renewed his license two years ago at 92. While he may have passed the mandatory vision test, he clearly was not given a dementia test. This is a problem because the police say that he had no idea that he hit someone or that the person was still on his hood. While other cases have occured in the past where younger drivers have hit people and driven home with them in their cars, this time the case had nothing to do with alcohol abuse but rather sheer mental breakdown. It's illegal to drive under the influence of alcohol; perhaps it should also be illegal to drive under the influence of mental illness, such as dementia. Maybe such laws do exist. If that is the case, then there has to be a better way to ensure that people with mental illness aren't issued licenses. As the family of the killed pedestrian in Florida know, dementia and driving don't mix.